Friday, 10 January 2014

Here's Hoping


The other day when I woke up, I laid in bed for a little while. I didn't feel like getting up. I could see through the slats of the blinds that it was still dark and I could hear the rain. Suddenly I had Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) or at least I figured this is what it must feel like. I talked myself into getting up even though I didn't really have a choice. Mike and I have certain routines on certain days and on this day and three other days of the week I get him up early to accomplish certain tasks before the home care nurse comes. I can't roll over and go back to sleep...it's not an option. So I had to ignore feeling blue and begin the day.

When Mike and I finished our routine and the home care nurse took over, I was sure I could hear my bed calling me back. As tempting as it was to return to my cozy little hiding place, I resisted. I never go back to bed and I wasn't about to give in this time regardless of how tired and un-motivated I felt. I went for a walk instead. I needed to go to the store for something anyway so on with the rubber boots and out with the umbrella and off I went. On a dry day, walking to the store or anywhere wouldn't be unusual for me, but on a rainy day, I normally drive. Feeling lacklustre, I figured some fresh air would do the trick.

I started off pretty slow, but still went the long way. I realized I was going to need a lot of time to shake those blahs. I prayed and pondered and praised the Lord with a little bit of singing. By the time I got to the store I was feeling a lot better. I took an even longer route home and enjoyed walking through some neighbourhoods Mike and I have enjoyed walking through so many times together. I was glad I brought an umbrella because it was raining harder now, but that didn't bother me at all. I quite liked the rain...it made me hopeful for sunshine. I started to think about hope and the more I thought about it, the more hopeful I became. The more hopeful I became, the more skip in my step and my posture improved. I got wet on the final stretch home though...I put my umbrella down because it was blocking out the little bit of sunlight breaking through the clouds.


I don't know where my hope was when I woke up that morning but it's back. That was Tuesday. The next day and the next day and the one after that; same darkness, same rain, but lots of hope!

Since Mike's ALS diagnosis almost three years ago, we have clung to hope...we stick to it like glue! Whether it's a cure for the disease, a miracle for Mike and Neal and others with it, or whether it's another Christmas together or springtime...we have hope and we aren't letting go!

I love Merriam-Webster's definition of hope: ”To cherish a desire with anticipation and to expect with confidence”. With hope anything can happen...or at least something can happen. Without hope; dismay.  Hope is a reason to get up in the morning...hope is a rope...hope trumps impossible!

Happy New Year everyone! Here's to a year filled with HOPE!

A super man, the late Christopher Reeve said: "Once you choose hope, anything's possible."
 

2 comments:

  1. Love this! Love to your family happy new years Sands family

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  2. Nadine, very touching blog entries, and a tribute to the bravery of your husband and your family. I work for ALS Therapy Development Institute (TDI) the largest and only lab dedicated to drug development for ALS patients. Visit us at www.als.net and feel free to email me with questions regarding clinical trials and therapies that we are advancing in our lab. Happy to help you navigate this path mshannon@als.net .

    Thanks Nadine and Mike.

    Sincerely,


    Mike Shannon

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