Monday, 18 March 2013

Savour the Moment

I was exhausted this morning when the alarm went off at 7:00am. I tried to get to bed at a decent time last night, but that didn’t happen and I knew I was going to pay for it this morning.  On Sunday nights, we have been watching the mini-series, The Bible, which is fantastic and then Mike has been watching The Vikings after that from 10:00 to 11:00. Then it’s the big push to get to bed. I crush up his meds and feed those to him in yogurt, then I brush his teach and wash his face and then transfer him from his chair to his wheel chair, wheel to the bedroom, transfer him to the edge of the bed, take off his shirt, give him a good back scratch and then swing him up on the bed. Then I take off his shoes and socks and arrange all of his pillows where he likes them and then turn him on his side, I get his arms where he wants them and put on his hand braces. That is about a 30 min process.

I was foolish last night, when I stayed up to check my emails because that put me in bed at about 12:15. I remember looking at the clock at 12:22 when I was finally tucked in. At 12:45 Mike wanted to turn over, at 1:15 he had to go pee and at 2:30 he needed to turn over again. Needless to say, when my alarm went off at 7:00, I laid there for a while talking myself out of rolling over and going back to sleep. In order to get to the Step Interval class I teach on Mondays in time at 9:00am, I have to get Mike up by 8:00. I get him up and out to his chair and give him a little bit of breakfast through his feeding tube, I brush his teeth etc. and make sure he is comfortable. I have to get his lap top in the right place so his one knuckle can click the mouse (believe it or not, that can sometimes take a few minutes), I put on a TV show or some music then I fly out the door.
Yesterday morning I subbed a class for a fellow instructor who was sick. It was a 10:00am class, so that gave us a little more time to get up and ready. The day before that, Saturday, Mike stayed in bed while I went and taught my 9:00am Step class. Sometimes, Mike stays in bed in the morning while I go to my class and then I get him up when I get home between 10:00 and 10:30. He has been doing this a little more often lately and I think it`s good because I`ve noticed his best sleep is from about 5:00am to 10:00.

Anyway, on Saturday after my class, I headed straight back to bed when I got home. It was pouring rain and I was feeling the chill after my workout, so I thought I would snuggle in against my husband`s hot body. Mike is really warm blooded and I am usually cold, so stealing some heat from him is common for me. After taking off his hand braces and removing some pillows, I nuzzled my way in there like our little kitten, Professor Fluffy used to nuzzle her way in under the blankets and into my arms on a cold morning…I think I was purring too, like she did.  It reminded me of what we had, when Mike would wrap his arms around me and pull me close. I took his hand and slowly pulled back his fingers and pressed my palm up against his. For half a minute I forgot about ALS. We listened to the rain, the illness disappeared and I savoured the moment.
I`ve been thinking about the Bachelor Finale that was on TV last week. I`m not a huge fan of the show, but sometimes I tune in for the last four episodes. I`m only interested in who the Bachelor or Bachelorette has narrowed it down to and I particularly liked Sean, he was super cute and seemed like a really nice guy. The finale dilemma is that some unlucky lady goes home with a broken heart and the other gets the knight in shining armour and a shiny rock for her finger. While Sean was proposing and his elated fiancé to be, was quickly finding her way to cloud nine, they talked about their future and how they couldn`t wait to get started with their lives together and eventually grow old together. They mentioned growing old together a few times. It was a beautifully romantic scene and I`m sure most viewers would have been swept away.

We all talk about growing old with the one we love, and we make plans. Mike and I had plans to snuggle together in bed on rainy Saturday mornings for years to come, but now we just live for each day and are grateful for the moments we can still savour.
James 4:14-15 says: You do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapour that appears for a while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it’s the Lord will, we will do this or that.”    

I don`t teach a class tomorrow morning, so if it`s the Lord`s will, Mike and I will spend a little more time under the covers and I will put my cold hands and feet against his hot body and he won`t mind…he likes to keep me warm.                                              



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